Why Do You Care What They Think?

Why Do You Care What They Think?

There’s a moment that almost everyone remembers from their childhood. They have just received something they really liked--a new shirt, a new toy, a haircut they thought was cooland showed up for school with it...only to be mercilessly teased and mocked for it. Such experience have taken many joys from the moment

If this was simply a thing  of a child, it would be one thing. But the truth is that we carry this attitude with us into adulthood.  It never ceases to amaze me. We all love ourselves more than other people, but care about their opinion more than our own.

We are proud of the job we did until our insecure boss attacks us for it. We are excited about the book or movie until we read the reviews from the critics. we never stop to consider whether these people have any credibility, whether they even know what they’re talking about. Suddenly, because they commented about something we care about or are sensitive to, we believe them more than we believe ourselves. And then we are miserable.

This is no way to live. We must cultivate our own high standards, own strong opinions about what is right and good and important. This is what we need to use to evaluate reality. Other people’s opinions? We need to stop caring about them. Or, at the very least, we cannot give them the power  to make us miserable, or to question ourselves. It is not their judgment that should be guiding our minds .

It’s our life. It’s our opinion. That’s what matters.

Fight or Flight

 

FIGHT OR FLIGHT……….

 

This is  a question which naturally comes to mind whenever you face any adversity…..

The immediate response will depend on the of kind conditioning which we have undergone or the environment  we relate to……

Whenever we face difficult situations we tell ourselves “It’s not so bad” and fool  ourselves with the hope that our circumstances will somehow just get better over time and things will just ‘sort themselves out.’ We come up with excuses for why sticking with the status quo is a feasible option; why playing safe and not putting ourselves at risk of failing or looking foolish is ‘sensible.” In reality, things that aren’t working out well for us now only tend to get worse over time, not better, and issues remain unaddressed in our relationships and lives tend to grow larger, not smaller

 

That is, we tend to focus more on what might go wrong – what we might lose or sacrifice – than what might go right. Because what we focus on tends to magnify in our imaginations, it causes us to misjudge (and over-estimate) the likelihood of it occurring. Yet the reality is that the risk of something not working out is often not near as high as we estimate and the odds of it working out well, are often far better.

 

As we you look back on your life to date, where do you wished you’d been a little braver, trusted in yourself more, and been less cautious in the chances you took? In short, you wished to  more courageous in the situation where you chose the escape path…..

 

Human beings are innately risk averse and, when assessing their options, will err toward caution. During periods of change, when the path ahead is uncertain and future insecure, our tendency to play safe is amplified…….whenever we are pushed to tight corner or need to raise our voice … we think too much and as result rationality creeps in and we decide to be silent or safe …..The other thinking is that why I should be the one spearheading……. What will happen if things don’t go my way….I have a family , loans, responsibilities, health issue…….Let somebody who has none of this initiate  ….

 

Time  and again we all have been admiring courageous , fearless people….watch and read stories but transform our views/actions  in opposite direction when similar circumstances hit our face…. And justify in the name of being ‘rational’ ,’practical’ and intelligent….

 

This is possibly the biggest hypocrisy….. we  all are guilty of displaying…….

 

So , how does one can be more fearless, courageous  etc etc….. the answer lies within each of us ….we need not learn this by attending  courses, inspirational speeches  or meeting people ….it can only be learnt by being more aware, by stopping to overanalyze and by thinking from your heart and acting from your mind  …..

And mind you, …..we don’t have to wait for the events to happen …we can simply demonstrate in our behaviors, the way we bring our children, the way we   conduct professional lives…

End of the day … these actions will cumulative build a better, meaningful   and happy society  …..so don’t wait ….. start …..NOW!